Sick of Lemonade...Time for Tea

"When life hands you lemons, make lemonade!" I've lived by that motto for years, and while not totally abandoning it, I'm tired of the Lemon bombardment, and the self pity that has ensued, and I'm turning a page. The last 3+ years since the layoff from my job have not been easy. We started a business for my husband that is doing well, but still in its infancy. Financially, I'm in worse shape today than I was when I graduated university - or so it seems. Hard to focus on quilting or anything else when you have bill collectors calling every other day. I'm sick of lemonade. But let's lay off the lemonade and see what we really have. We got through my thyroid issue with positive results. I came to the realization that I have now fulfilled a 20+ year goal. I tell people to choose a career where they can "hang their own shingle" and being a consulting engineer would have fulfilled that. I suddenly find myself as a consultant, albeit not of the engineering type, with a legal company that bears my name and work under contract to be done. It was the last of the major goals I had in life, or so I thought. I have a beautiful home that fulfilled another lifetime dream of living in the country by a lake. Now, I just need time to start collecting pay from my work to pay the bills (most will be up to date before Christmas) and I need to focus on new goals for myself. Sounds like the perfect time to start a new quilt, right! I started a block of the month quilt that should be fun. I'll post pictures as soon as I get them. I have a notebook where I cut out pictures from magazines or words and put together a collage of things that inspire me. It is eerie how those images have come true: babies, trip on disney cruise, home in the country, company with my name on it. I need to find some new images to lead me onwards. Let's leave off the lemonade, and have a spot of tea, while we delve into this new quilt project and see what the future could hold.

A dent in the plans

Well, life does not always go as planned. I kind of knew this day was coming, but reality feels a little weirder than I thought.

I am being scheduled for surgery to remove part of my thyroid. The doctors are treating me under the assumption I have cancer because my thyroid is so large it has paralyzed one of my vocal chords. My surgeon said, while not impossible to have the vocal chord paralyzed and NOT be cancer, he's only ever seen cancer as the cause. The fact that this is "urgent" surgery, means I'm likely looking at a February date for the surgery. The good news is even if this turns out to be cancer, thyroid cancer is usually 98% survival rate.

Needless to say, getting some of my UFO's done this week has been challenging, but I'm determined to not wallow in self pity. So, no progress to date, but I'm thinking tonight might be the night to get going on things.

UFO's Everywhere

In order to not completely overwhelm myself, I decided to just inventory the quilting projects I have (sadly, I have embroidery, needlepoint, and sewing projects too).

Good News - I got the inventory done. Bad News - Holy Cow, what a list. My oldest UFO is mumble years old (I bought the fabric in the area I went to university at, back when I was still in university - and that was two marriages, two kids, five moves, and many jobs later!)

Here's the list in age from oldest to newest:

Richmond Hill Trip Around the World - fabrics washed but not started other than that
Christmas Wreath - pieced and part way hand quilted, but needs finishing
Love Never Ends - purchased on a business trip to the US last century, not started
Bunnies - started for my nephew before he was born and he's in university now
Star Sampler - Center star almost done but border stars need doing
Sunset Star - blocks are together and rows started assembly
Flowering Star - all there but not even first cut made
Block of the Month 2003-2004 - about 6 months done but need to finish piecing
Quilter's Challenge 2005 - barely started
Breast Cancer Quilt - not started yet, but since my mother is just finished treatment for Breast Cancer, this one is feeling more important to do
Phoenix - fell in love with the stain glass patter, but never started it
Strip Quilt - bought a bundle of strips with great intentions

Technically there are a few more - quilt guild mystery challenges and summer school quilting courses but they were more about learning technique and I'm not sure they could be salvaged to make a viable quilt - still, I may yet come back to them.

I've decided to finish the Sunset Star first. It's for my grandmother who's already in her 90's, so you don't have to guess why I'm making that a priority! Tonight's goal - piece two rows together and take a picture for the blog!

Another Christmas Season is here

This year, despite becoming an Entrepreneur with my husband, despite some health issues, and despite the fact that there is still only 24 hours in the day, I've decided both for the sake of sanity, cleaning up my UFO's, and saving money, I'm going to try to make some Christmas gifts this year. I have 4 weeks until Christmas to make this happen.

Tonight's Job - A full UFO inventory. This is bound to be embarrassing, but the first step to doing anything is to assess where you are. I certainly feel like I have no time in the day, but the reality is I watch enough tv to make several gifts many times over. I feel overwhelmed and exhausted at the end of the work day, and sitting in front of the boob tube both is a family event (since working on crafts seems to be a solo effort for the most part), and seems to be what I feel I have energy for.

I used to use the saying "the more you force yourself to do, the more you'll realize what you can do" - baby steps.

So, today is day 1 of the Christmas Count-down and the challenge is to use even 15 minutes a day to move me closer to my goal.

Renewing the Drive - August 21, 2011

It is hard to believe it is over a year and a half since I last posted. A lot has happened in that time, and yet some things I had as goals, seemed to slip off my platter.

My husband and I took a leap of faith and opened our own business. After 15 months, we have done the unthinkable - succeeded! Our sales have doubled, we've received public recognition for our work, and we're heading towards a fundraiser that will allow us to give back to the community.

The costs have been high - I have not touched my quilting, my basement clean-up project has gone the way of the do-do, and I don't get to spend as much time with my friends as I would like. Lucky for me, I have such great friends that they've been understanding through this.

I was reading my best friend's blog about seeking renewed motivation for her area of focus and was inspired to restart holding myself accountable via this blog. So let's see what today brings with a renewed sense of optimism about getting some me time in the day.

Progress......or Lack Thereof - January 15, 2010

A week into the New Year's resolutions and some progress has been made, sort of.

Translation: Not one resolution is going completely well, but we're making a dent in all of them.

I don't see this as failure. Life, like New Year's Resolutions, is all about the battle against inertia. As long as you're making progress in the right direction, you're succeeding!

Let's start with the Christmas decorations. I tackled the house and packed up all the ribbons and bows, the wrap and the tape, the tree and the decorations, the lights and the ornaments, the tablecloth and the assorted decorations around the house. I thought I had this one finished last week when I saw, today, a ratty piece of artificial holly that was masquerading as mistletoe, hanging from my front hallway light. Well, it won't take a moment to finish off this resolution.

I moved the dusty exercise equipment most of us won't admit to having from a remote corner of the basement to right in front of my hobby area and pointed towards a television. First workout went great. Now both the exercise equipment and the hobby area are collecting dust. This week is not over yet, so there is still hope.

I bought a curtain rod for the planned curtains in the office - I don't know if I can legitimately call that progress.

I've applied to more jobs over the last week and contacted many in my network about a possible job, so now I wait and see. I'm also cooking up a Plan B if all else should fail.

Still, life is great. My family is healthy and full of love. I have a few great friends and caring neighbours. I have no complaints really.

So, I hope you look at the struggles in your life and see, not the distance to the goal, but the strides you've made already to get there and smile as a result.

New Year's Resolutions

That time honoured tradition of seeing the year start with the making of promises that may only have the hope of lasting 5 minutes is one I relish every year. I actually think I have a shot at these ones.

1) Put away all Christmas decorations by end of tomorrow. (We're a full week into January already so it's about time!)

2) Clean up the home office. We've let it get messy and a messy desk is not the most productive one. This I want to do next week, but trying to be successful at these resolutions this year, I'm giving myself until the end of January.

3) Find a job - let's face it, unemployment, for those who want to be employed, SUCKS! I have many irons in the proverbial fire, but I actually have to make something come of at least one of them.

4) Make drapes for the office. We have a room we use as a home office (same messed up room as #2 above) and I have the material to make drapes for the office. I just need to dust off the sewing machine and get this job done. Again, I hope to do this by end of next week, but I'm giving myself until the end of January to complete this.

5) I want to exercise 4 days a week for a minimum of 30 minutes. I'm not doing weight loss goals this year, although I do want to get in better shape, but I just want to improve my fitness level.

6) I have a certificate I've been working towards earning through a self-paced on-line program for months and I want to complete it by the end of Jan. It's feasible if I can focus for 2 hours a day for 4 days per week between now and then.

I'll be honest enough to keep how I'm doing posted here. Do you have resolutions you want to share here too? By all means.

A stitch in time

It's been a busy few weeks. There are two items, both involving stitches, that I wanted to capture here.

The first is a quilt I am making. I started it years ago, but I'm determined to finish it for Christmas. It will be a quilt for my grandmother. I really don't like the individual quilt blocks, but when you put it together and step back, the bigger picture gets quite interesting. The colours for the most part are very bold, but that was deliberate. My grandmother is legally blind but has some very limited vision and she has trouble now distinguishing colours. One of the fabrics is one I've held on to for years waiting to use. It's a duplicate of my baby blanket, and while I'm not sure, I think my grandmother was the one who gave the baby blanket to me. Now, I just have to stay focused and get it done in the next 5 weeks.

The second is a project I've been working on for me. I've had some moles on my face that started getting larger and I have already had cancer in my life before, so I decided to not take any chances and asked to have them removed. Last Tuesday was the surgery. My wonderful husband was allowed to stay with me the whole time as it was outpatient work done in the office in the hospital for the surgeon I had. Still, I didn't expect the removal of 4 moles to result in almost 16 stitches! My face is tender to say the least. I won't know for a few weeks if any of the 4 are in fact cancerous. If they are, I'll have to go back for more surgery, but I'm staying optimistic and I know I've probably caught it early even if it is the worst case. I'm willing to exchange a few scars for the piece of mind that the moles are gone.

Life is never boring - that's for sure.

Trick or Treat

One of my girls had a challenge this year finding a pre-made Halloween costume that she liked and that would fit her. I offered to make her a costume from either a pattern or of her design. She decided she wanted to be an orange and black Halloween Princess. I took her to the fabric store and purchased fabrics of her choice - I made several suggestions but in the end we picked what she wanted.

At home, we sketched on a piece of paper what the finished outfit would look like and she agreed that the drawing represented what she wanted. I felt like a contestant on the tv show Project Runway - draping and pinning and cutting and sewing together a creation of original design. At each step I would ask her to try on our in-progress outfit and get her to validate that we were still on track. Finally, after a week, the outfit was complete. We still have to do a slight adjustment on the fitting, but all in all, what was created matched our original drawing.

In doing this, I realized that none of my girls would be able to do what I just did. When I went to school, home economics was a course we were required to take and that apparently no longer exists in our school system. We are on the edge of a generation who will lose a basic set of domestic skills unless we make the conscious effort to pass these skills in the time honoured tradition of parent to child. So now I add, in addition to all the projects I want to address, a new project to ensure my children are given the gift that was given to me of working with a needle and thread. It also speaks to the larger question of how many of us have skills that we either have, or have not, shared with our children. The legacy we leave is as much about what they wish to learn as it is about what we wish for them to learn. It's got me thinking, that's for sure.

Creative Outlets

I've always had creative outlets in my life from the time I was 5 years old. Still, as an adult, we seem to lose touch with all the creative ways we used to express ourselves. Part of my creativity was based on learning old school homemaking skills from my mother - sewing, knitting, embroidery, crochet - and I expanded that with other variations - quilting, cross stitch, and needlepoint. I've used my sewing skills to help make window coverings lately for my home, but otherwise I've left those things sitting in a pile waiting for my attention.

Part of the spare time challenge is reconnecting to my creative side. Our basement is unfinished and used primarily for storage. I've decided today I'm going to clean up a corner for my use and get back to working on those creative outlets I once enjoyed so much. To motivate me today, I'm going shopping with one of my best friends, who also happens to be a very creative person. That will be my incentive to work hard this morning to get my corner set up.

Maybe my family will see what I'm doing and get motivated to learn or relearn creative hobbies too. How about you?

Commercial Break Bonus

The invention of the Personal Video Recorder is both a blessing and a curse. Not only can you watch even more of your favourite television shows because they can now be recorded and watched at your convenience, but you never have to take a break for station identification thanks to the fast forward button.

Tonight, I watched a television program the old fashioned way, by tuning in and letting the program run commercials and all. I made a promise to myself to get up at every commercial to do housework. Two commercial breaks and the dishwasher was empty. Two more and all the dinner dishes were done, including all but 2 of the hand washing dishes (since they needed a little soak in hot water before scrubbing). Where I had killed 40 minutes straight the PVR way, I had my same 40 minutes of programming, with a couple of chores done too.

Now one could argue that if I had watched my program a la PVR, I would have 20 minutes to do the same chores afterwards, but would I really? How many of us, upon completing the watching of one program on the PVR, see the massive backlog of recorded programs and think "Just one more". Next thing you know, hours have drifted by and nothing got done. So today, I enjoyed the commercial break bonus.

Now back to your regular scheduled programming.

The Cure for Turkey Hangover

I have the very good fortune to be married to a wonderful man who is a fantastic chef. Yesterday we shared our home with family and friends for an amazing Turkey Dinner in honour of Thanksgiving (can you tell we're Canadian yet?). I am thankful for all the members of my family and those friends who mean so much to me. I am thankful for the chance to spend another day with their company. I look at all the wonderful things in my life and know I am a very lucky woman.

Today however, the inevitable has occurred - the Turkey Hangover - that state of semi-paralysis where no chore looks feasible and the sofa and television look incredibly appealing.

I have decide the cure for this year's turkey hangover is physical labour. My husband and I shed our lethargic state and went outside in the cool day to finish the assembly of a storage shed in our backyard. I also worked on a couple of very minor outdoor chores too, and in the end, felt a wonderful sense of satisfaction. The Turkey Hangover did not get the best of me this year. I used my spare time to both do something constructive with my partner and have a result that the whole family will benefit from in the years to come.

Now, where's that sofa, I need a nap!

The Spare Time Challenge

We all have it, the vast majority of us waste at least some of it, many of us think we're using it productively but in retrospect realize we could have used it better. Spare Time - those moments, both short and long, that come between the essentials of life - sleeping, eating, basic hygiene, and working for a living. I was inspired to start this for a number of reasons, but one of the big ones was one of my best friend's blog. She has done infinitely more than I on a hobby we share in common, and I suspect her blog about her hobbies has been one of the motivating factors. So, now it's my turn to try this as a motivational tool. The challenge I put forward to myself, and to anyone who may chance upon this blog is to account for and come to rethink our "spare time".

Today, in a moment of spare time, I started this blog. Only hindsight will tell me if this is merely a distraction from responsibilities or a tool to help me refocus my life. My life is good, I'm not complaining, but there are so many things I want to do, and after a period of time, there is so much I find myself wishing I had done. I have an amazing husband, fantastic children, and really good friends. I appreciate all I have. I just want to challenge myself to make the most out of this life I'm privileged to have.

Today will be a day for Family. Here in Canada, it is the day before our official Thanksgiving holiday, which I like to refer to as "Turkey Hangover Day". Today, therefore, is the day we actually spend copious amounts of time in the kitchen in order to feast with friends and family later today. The question is, other than the essential preparation and clean-up of a huge meal, what else will I do with those stolen moments we all have during the day.

I challenge all of us - think about 1 thing you could do with 10 minutes. I don't think anyone can claim they never had 10 minutes they could carve out of the day. Be aware of what you do with those 10 minutes, record it here if you like, but let's see what magic we might experience today.